Is your child’s temperament affecting their school experience?

When I was a school nurse, children of various ages and grades would find their way to my office with complaints of stomachaches, headaches, or other issues, especially when there was a major change in their life like starting a new school year. They often just needed someone to listen as they tried to adjust to their new environment, and the nurse’s office was a safe space to do that.

As children came and went, I often wondered how some children seemed to adjust easily while others had a more difficult time. I later found out that children’s adaptability to various situations and changes in their lives can depend on their temperament.

“Temperament is the child’s emotional style and how they adapt to different situations,” said Ellen Carty, MPH, MSN, APRN, a Cape Cod Hospital psychiatric nurse practitioner who is also certified in family and pediatric care. “Temperament is what you are born with, and it is innate to each child. It can also be influenced by experiences, health, interactions with other people, and environment.”

Environmental situations that can influence children’s temperaments, according to Carty, include social determinants of health, like poverty, food insecurity and unstable housing.

“They are at the core of so many of the behaviors that we see affect temperament,” she said. “There are a fair number of children on Cape Cod who are living with their parents in campgrounds during the summer and, when the season ends, they go back to living in cars, temporary housing or couch surfing.”

They may be living with grandparents because their own parents can’t care for them due to substance abuse, mental health issues or they may have died, she added. “All those challenges can have an impact on a child’s temperament,” she said.

Characteristics of Temperaments

The American Academy of Pediatrics and Carty highlight some of the hallmarks of various temperaments to help parents understand your child’s traits and uniqueness. They are:

• Activity level: Is your child hyperactive, restless or fidgety? Are they able to sleep?
• Rhythm or regularity: Does your child have a regular pattern or absence of physical functions, including appetite, sleep and bowel habits?
• Approach and withdrawal: How does your child respond to a new stimulus or when they are asked to do something they have never done before, such as playing a sport or trying a new food, meeting new people? Do they approach it as rapid and bold or slow and hesitant?
• Adaptability: How easily does your child adjust to change or a new situation?
• Intensity: What kind of energy level does your child have when responding to a new situation, whether positive or negative?
• Mood: Do your child’s words and behavior tend to be negative or positive?
• Attention span: Are they able to concentrate or stay on task with or without distraction?
• Distractibility: How easily can your child be distracted from a task with sights and sounds around them?
• Sensory threshold: How much stimulation does your child need to respond? Does the slightest stimulation make them respond or does it need to be intense?

Ways to Help Children Adapt

Carty suggests the following to help your child adapt when they are:

• Energetic or restless: Give them the space to burn off energy. Physical activity can help, such as playing games outside, running around, going for a walk, or going to a playground. If they are impulsive, provide a safe space for them to unwind.
• Cautious and withdrawn: Your child may be slow to accept change. Introduce new things slowly and talk about what will happen ahead of time.
• Slow to adapt: Provide consistent, predictable routines, prepare them in advance. Try a different way to help them get used to their new situation. For example, if they have a hard time going into the school, walk them to the front door for a couple of days, then stand at the end of the walkway for a couple of days while they walk to the door. Have them turn towards you, wave and tell them they are okay, and then, finally, have them get out of the car by themselves and wave goodbye.
• Intense: A high-intensity child may need expression, which can be a challenge. Give them feedback to practice patience and tolerance and use your own positive and calm modeling of reaction to teach them how to react.
• In a negative or bad mood: Adjust and try to re-spin their negative mood with positive responses including “You did that well,” “I love that,” or “How does that make you feel?”
• Easily Distracted: If your child is easily distracted, respond with short instructions, say their name, look them in the eyes, repeat. Give them praise when appropriate and when they complete tasks.
• Having a low-sensory threshold: Some children have a low-sensory threshold when there is a lot of noise, and some children may be on the autistic or neurodivergent scale. Attempt to keep the stimulation down and try to anticipate it. Watch how they react, see what is helpful for them and respect their preferences.

“Help is available, if parents are concerned about how their child is doing in school or feel there are issues they would like to address,” said Carty. “Most, if not all the public schools on Cape Cod have social workers, adjustment counselors and/or school psychologists. They are a great asset and can help sort things out.”