Feeling down this winter? Simple self-care strategies can help

Even though depression affects all people, studies show it is twice as prevalent in women than in men. There are multiple reasons why that is true, including the fact that women sometimes feel pulled in many directions at the same time, juggling full-time careers, housekeeping and parenting duties.

Even though men do many more household chores than they used to, research that included more than 200 scholarly studies on the division of labor in marriage showed that women still do at least twice as much housework as their male partners. This makes it doubly important that women who suffer from or are prone to depression have a well-though-out plan for self-care.

We asked clinical psychologist Krista Lesinski, PsyD, who works in Behavioral Health Services at Cape Cod Hospital for her best tips for self-care for women who experience depression.

A Sense of Community is Important

Dr. Lesinski highly recommends the Adult Partial Hospital Program at Cape Cod Hospital because it’s a good place to find a support system and make connections with others.

“It’s all group therapy and it’s voluntary, so everybody that is in the groups wants to be here, which I think has a way better vibe than something that you feel like you don’t really have a say in,” she said. “A big piece that I hear back from my clients is that they’ve found other people who understand what it is like to have depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder and be able to talk through that and feel like that’s a community.”

Other supports are more targeted toward specific populations. The time after childbirth can be a stressful time that may also include postpartum depression. The Family Birthplace at Cape Cod Hospital offers a weekly Postpartum Party as part of The Fourth Trimester series. Cape Cod Children’s Place in Eastham offers parent/child playgroups from Barnstable to Provincetown where moms can socialize while their children play.

We Can in Harwich and Hyannis offers services to women who are at transitional places in their life journey. Hyannis Recovery Connection Center offers peer support with both psychoeducational groups and non-psychoeducational groups like art and music groups to help people improve their social supports.

Create a Structured Routine

“Even if it’s not mental health-related, I think having a leisure activity that you go to that gets you out of the house and around other people is important,” Dr. Lesinski said.

Local libraries have a lot of resources for people of all ages to find community. There are baby and children’s story times, book clubs, writing groups, needlepoint lessons, knitting groups and sewing bees. Most libraries also welcome volunteers. Local churches also have a lot of resources and opportunities to volunteer.

Adult sports leagues offer both community and exercise, she said. On the Cape, there is the Barnstable Women’s Flag Football League, the Dennis Women’s Softball League, and the Cape Cod Women’s Soccer League. Local bowling alleys also offer bowling leagues.

For those who prefer more one-on-one exercise, find a walking buddy and schedule a regular date that is written on your day planner.

“Having an ongoing scheduled appointment for self-care makes you more likely to follow through with it,” Dr. Lesinski said.

Whole Body Health

If you are suffering from depression, it’s important to schedule an appointment with your primary care doctor who can order labs and tests to check things like hormone levels, thyroid functioning and other medical causes of depression, she explained. Certain life transitions like puberty, postpartum, perimenopause and menopause can all cause hormonal imbalances that affect mood.

Talk therapy and medication management is also an important follow-up for care, she said.

Making sure you are getting enough sleep and getting regular exercise can also improve mood. Download meditation apps like Headspace to help cope with anxiety, sleep issues and other mental healthcare issues.

Ask for Help

“I think it’s sometimes hard for women and men to ask for help when they are struggling,” said Dr. Lesinski. “We have this pressure to pretend everything is perfect. We need to normalize asking for help.”

The other thing she recommends is for people to be specific about what kind of help they are looking for. For example, a busy mom who needs a couple of hours for herself could ask for help with babysitting. A senior who no longer feels safe driving at night could ask for a ride to her book club.

“Sometimes people try to be helpful and then what they do is not actually helpful,” she said. “So, if we could be specific with the types of help that we need that’s important too.”

Developing relationships with friends and family where we feel we can be honest about our feelings and struggles is another great step.

“I feel like the younger generations are more accepting of mental health issues,” Dr. Lesinski said. “There’s definitely still a stigma there but I think that we’ve come a long way with reducing some of that stigma and normalizing it so people are able to talk about their experiences.”